Love of Mine
by Kazima Kuwabara
Summary: Yusuke reflects on Kuwabara's mortality, and his own extended life. Lime-ish. Yusuke/Kuwabara Warning: character death


So there was no update Tuesday cuz I broke my foot. As an apology for that here's a new story!! And If I have time I'll update one of my stories-or start a new one.

So I have no idea if this is a poem or a song. While cleaning out my computer of homework stoof I found this. I vaguely remember having to do a response to this. It's so beautiful, I want to attempt a story to it. So I hope you enjoy.

1234

Yusuke mixed his coffee like he normally did: a little bit of milk, and about eleven scoops of sugar. He made a second cup for his lover of 25 years, and his best friend of 28 years: black with a cinnamon stick. Yusuke picked up the cups and headed down the hall of Genkai's shrine, which was now his own. He paused at a mirror taking in his face.

He hadn't aged since the day he first found out was a human. He was in this perpetual state of 15…at least in looks…hell and even a little in personality-Yusuke was as cheeky as ever. He grinned a little at his reflection, and continued with his trek down the hall. Entering his room that he shared with his lover he smiled at the slumbering form of Kazuma Kuwabara.

Kuwabara was sleeping rolled over on his side, his copper curls now slightly dull with age, spread across his face and pillow. He was in his early forty's now, but aged gracefully. He still looked like a man in his early twenty's his random smattering of gray hair giving away that he was older then he looked. Yusuke set the coffee down and looked down at his lover…yes Kuwabara was aging well…

But he was still aging while Yusuke stayed frozen in time.

_Love of mine,  
Someday you will die_

It bothered him some days…the thought that Kuwabara would age and die while Yusuke stayed as he was. He had talked to Koenma, he had talked with Kurama and Hiei, he'd talked to Yomi…and all the answers were the same. There was nothing they could do for Kuwabara…yes there was the possibility of turning Kuwabara into a demon…but the chances his mind could be warped were too high…

And in the end Kuwabara wanted to remain human.

"Urameshi…I love you," Kuwabara had said to him one day, "But I can't change who I'm not. I can't become anything other then just a human…" Kuwabara has smiled fondly and added, "We've seen all the people who tried to gain power through changing themselves into a demon…and the outcome has never been good. I don't want to become a monster…because if I put you through that pain…" Kuwabara trailed off and shook his head.

After that Yusuke quietly accepted that there was nothing he could do but stand by Kuwabara's side. He loved Kuwabara, and he wanted to be with him forever, even if that mean "forever," would only be the lifetime of a human. However, when Kuwabara died, Yusuke did not plan on staying behind, alive and stuck in mourning the loss of his best friend and lover.

He would die too.

_  
But I'll be close behind_

Yusuke eased down next to Kuwabara on the bed looking the man in the face, taking in the lines and details of Kuwabara's serene profile. Yusuke had not told Kuwabara, but he'd arranged it with Koenma that when Kuwabara died, he would die too…and then one day they would be reincarnated…and Yusuke would find Kuwabara all over again.

Though Yusuke had not told Kuwabara of his plans, he expected that Kuwabara knew. There were times, at dinner, or when the two were just together enjoying the comfortable silence when Kuwabara would say, "When I die…make sure you go out and enjoy life. Get remarried, keep fighting, and go have fun…can you do that for me Urameshi?"

And Yusuke would always say, "Do you remember our vows to each other Kazuma? I promised to take you with me everywhere, and that I would follow you anywhere as well…I meant every word just so you know. Be it Hell or heaven…"

And Kuwabara always got this pained expression on his face and gently would whisper, "Yusuke…no."

The silence would turn sad and heavy, and then Yusuke would throw something at Kuwabara to make the red head angry and instigate a fight. At some point in the fight Yusuke would slam his lips up against Kuwabara's and marvel once again how their lips seemed to meet perfectly, and how their chins tilted towards one another. Kuwabara would freeze, and then relax…and slowly his fists would unclench and his arms would wrap around Yusuke as they glided their tongues and lips across each other's mouths.

Then typically the argument, and previous conversation would be forgotten and the day would end in love making on the floor, or the couch, or the bed-hell anywhere they pleased. Their hands would be laced together in joyous harmony and remain that way long after climax, and Yusuke would remind Kuwabara in gentle whispers just how much he loved him.

_  
I'll follow you into the dark  
No blinding light  
Or tunnels to gates of white_

Yusuke closed his eyes briefly thinking of how much he loved Kuwabara and gently placed his hands over Kuwabara's.

Even in his sleep Kuwabara seemed aware of Yusuke's presence and made a soft sound. His fingers spread a lithe to allow Yusuke to slide the tips of his fingers in Kuwabara's and just like that their fingers were laced together, and Kuwabara still remained asleep and blissfully unaware.

Yusuke was not really a romantic-don't get him wrong, he loved Kuwabara with everything that he had in him. He really did. But Yusuke was not a romantic guy-Hell for their last anniversary Yusuke had tackled Kuwabara to the ground and fucked him for the whole day ensuring Kuwabara would not be able to walk for the next two days.

To Yusuke that was romance.

But Yusuke had to admit, if asked, and if Kuwabara wasn't in the room he would have to say that holding his lover's hand was his favorite thing to do. Kuwabara's hand warmed Yusuke's own hand, and Yusuke would be able to feel Kuwabara's pulse through his fingertips. Yusuke often tried to match his pulse with Kuwabara's, calming down, or trying to get excited so that through each other's grasp there would be just one steady pulse.

He'd deny it in front of his lover because he never wanted Kuwabara to know how mushy he could be. It was embarrassing…and Yusuke couldn't just give Kuwabara something to tease him wit.

_  
Just our hands clasped so tight  
Waiting for the hint of a spark_

Kuwabara shifted making a soft sound, and Yusuke squeezed his love's hand and let his eyes take in Kuwabara's whole form. The thin sheets were like liquid on Kuwabara's nude body and draped gently over his form. Yusuke could see every detail of his husband's body, and he loved looking at him.

Kuwabara was no beauty-but there was something about him that made Yusuke's heart race. Yusuke liked Kuwabara's rough hands, and his blue eyes, and red hair. He liked Kuwabara's awkward height, and how even after all these years Kuwabara wore his hair in that gelled cocoon whenever they went out. He loved Kuwabara's scratchy voice, and the honor code he abided by.

He loved everything about Kuwabara-even the things that annoyed him were all what made Kuwabara irresistible.

Yusuke leaned down and whispered in Kuwabara's ear, "Kazuma? Kazuma…I love you."

Kuwabara made a bubbling sound and smile din his sleep before burying his face in his pillow.

He was trying really damn hard to stay asleep.

_If heaven and hell decide  
That they both are satisfied  
Illuminate the nose  
On their vacancy sign_

Yusuke sighed and waited for Kuwabara to shift again. As soon as Kuwabara's face moved from his pillow so that Yusuke could see his face again, Yusuke wasted no more time and kissed Kuwabara forcing the man's mouth open and meshing his tongue with his.

Kuwabara awoke then, groggy and confused. His hands floundered for a bit, as he tried to grasp what was going on and waking him. Kuwabara's eyes flew open seeing Yusuke, and he let out an annoyed grunt. His hands found Yusuke's chest, and he tried to push the man off him, but Yusuke captured Kuwabara's hands and kept him pinned. He rolled on top of Kuwabara kissing him hard and passionately, Kuwabara struggling and wiggling the whole time.

When Yusuke finally pulled away Kuwabara gasped choking for air. After several deep breaths he croaked, "Ass…hole!!"

Yusuke grinned cheekily, "You liked it," Yusuke ran his hands over Kuwabara's bare chest as he straddled his waist smiling a wry little grin, "No…you loved it."

Kuwabara sighed placing his hands on Yusuke's hips, gently stroking his thumbs along Yusuke's jeans. He glared at Yusuke from where he lay, but then slowly he smiled, "I guess waking up to being kissed breathless isn't the worst thing in the world."

Yusuke smiled hands lingering over Kuwabara's pecks, "I love you Kuwabara."

Kuwabara looked at Yusuke a gentle expression falling over his face. He slid his hand down Yusuke's leg and brought his hand to Yusuke's. He took his hand and kissed a plain silver band around his ring finger, before threading his fingers with Yusuke's. Kuwabara smiled and sighed contently.

"I know," he whispered his tone saying more then his words.

_  
If there's no one beside you  
When you're soul embarks  
Then I'll follow you into the dark_

Yusuke smiled at Kuwabara and traced his hands down his sides, "Kuwa…" he cooed before kissing the taller man, tugging his lower lip with his teeth. The two made out for the next several minutes, Yusuke's hands dragging down Kuwabara's body. After a few moments Yusuke pulled away and nipped at Kuwabara's neck. When Kuwabara moaned gasping his name Yusuke ripped away the sheets revealing Kuwabara's nude form. He pulled away taking in Kuwabara's body with hungry eyes.

"I hate it when you look at me like that…You look like you're going to eat me!" Kuwabara sighed pretending to sound annoyed though his eyes had that thrilled glint in them.

Yusuke grinned coyly, "What makes you think I won't? I'm a demon after all…" Yusuke lowered his body to Kuwabara's, working off his shirt as he bent down to capture Kuwabara's lips and place hot kisses along his neck.

As they made love, Yusuke thought of losing Kuwabara again…and how life would be pointless without Kuwabara.

Kuwabara was really an idiot if he honestly believed that after he died he could live without him. Kuwabara let out a gasp in Yusuke's ear, a hint of pain in his gasp, but there was more lust, wanting, and love in it then pain.

"You…okay?" Yusuke whispered shifting his lower body and making Kuwabara cry out breathily again.

"I'm…fine…don't stop," Kuwabara encouraged his arms draped around Yusuke squeezing his lover's shoulders gently.

Yusuke kissed Kuwabara lacing his hand with Kuwabara's and whispered, "I can't live…without you. I love you. Wherever you go…I want to follow you."

"Yusuke…" Kuwabara whimpered squeezing his lover all the tighter.

_In Catholic school  
As vicious as Roman rule  
I got my knuckles bruised  
By a lady in black_

It was many hours later, and Kuwabara was curled up, asleep once again. His face was flushed, and love bites decorated his slightly damp skin. Yusuke gently pulled the thin sheet over his lover so that he would be comfortable. Kuwabara instinctively moved closer to Yusuke, and the dark haired man smiled. Leaning over towards the dresser on the side of the bed he plucked up the forgotten coffee he had made for the both of them.

It was now ice cold.

Yusuke chuckled and drank it regardless.

Yusuke remained silent as he thought about his aging husband, and how much he loved him. He wasn't trying to depress himself but there was something about today, something in the air that just seemed to remind Yusuke, Kuwabara was going to die and go away.

It had been hard enough to deal with being gay for one…he'd lost some friendships because of it…gained deeper friendships too. Yusuke had lost his mom when he revealed his relationship with Kuwabara, he'd lost Keiko too…not right away, but she was obviously heart broken. They tried to remain friends, but slowly and surely Keiko stopped coming around, and now she was just a memory in Yusuke's life.

But he'd gained Kuwabara…and Shizuru called him her, "smarter younger idiot brother," he'd found out that Kurama and Hiei would always be his friends—they supported him so much with his decision of whom he loved. And in the end, Yusuke couldn't regret his decision. No one could stop him, or tell him whom to love in the end anyway…

_And I held my tongue  
As she told me 'Son,  
Fear is the heart of love.'_

"…'meshi…" Kuwabara mumbled as he woke back up.

Yusuke smiled at him, "Morning again…"

Kuwabara chuckled and shifted wincing. Yusuke grinned and Kuwabara shot him a glare. Sitting up slowly and carefully Kuwabara looked over at the dresser and plucked up his own cold coffee. Sipping it he shook his head laughing, "You gotta learn to tell me there's coffee first, and then pounce on me."

Yusuke smiled at him and kissed Kuwabara's brow, "Sorry…I can't make you any promises."

Kuwabara snorted and the two sat in silence.

Kuwabara sighed after several minutes and set hi coffee down, "Urameshi…" he began softly, "Yusuke…do you ever regret being with me?"

Yusuke jumped, "What?"

Kuwabara flushed, "I love you…more then anyone…but I'm…I'm getting old. And one day…I'm going to die…I don't want to leave you alone…and I don't want to be without you…yet selfishly I entered in this relationship with you…and now-"

Yusuke kissed Kuwabara gently to silence him. "Kuwabara…there is no one else I could, or would ever love. I'm not planning on ever having a life without you." Yusuke kissed Kuwabara's eyes, tasting the tears that were welling up there, and whispered, "I'm never going to endure a life without you. Ever."

_  
So I never went back  
_

Yusuke and Kuwabara eventually got out of bed, and ate breakfast…or lunch in their case. It was a typical day for the both of them…and eerily calm. Everything was peaceful…and it was unsettling.

Just as the sun was beginning to set Yusuke found himself leaned up against the shrine door waiting for Kuwabara to get home. Kuwabara had gone out to get groceries, and had called Yusuke letting him know he'd be a little late. He'd run into one of his students, and had gotten delayed as he spoke with him and his family. But that had been some time ago…and Yusuke was beginning to worry.

Where was Kuwabara?

His phone rang from inside the house and Yusuke rushed to retrieve it. "Kuwabara?" he asked into the receiver.

"No, but my name does start with a 'K.' It's Kurama," the voice on the other end said. Yusuke smiled and sighed, "Sorry Kurama."

Yusuke took the phone with him, heading back out front, "Kuwabara's not home yet…I was getting worried thought you might be him."

"Oh, well where is he supposed to be?" Kurama asked from the other end.

Yusuke opened the door to outside, "Well he's-" he stopped short as he saw a police officer standing at his door, his partner behind him. The cop was poised to knock on the door, and looked surprised to see Yusuke.

"Yusuke?" Kurama's voice asked from the receiver.

Yusuke dropped the phone.

_  
If heaven and hell decide  
That they both are satisfied  
Illuminate the nose  
On their vacancy signs_

Yusuke found himself sitting outside a hospital room going over the details of what happened to his partner very slowly.

Kuwabara had been walking home. He was at the cross walk when a drunk driver careened into him. Kuwabara tried to run but the car caught his leg, and sent him flying. Kuwabara was slammed into a pole and that was when he lost consciousness.

The hit to his leg broke every bone in the leg all way up to his hip, and when Kuwabara crashed into the pole his spine shattered.

Kuwabara was dying.

Kuwabara was 42 years old and he was dying.

"Why…?" Yusuke found himself saying, "Why? My time with him is already short…why now…?"

A doctor appeared from the room Kuwabara was in and approached Yusuke. He stood up anxious to hear what he had to say. The doctor looked grim and in a soft voice said, "He's paralyzed from the waist down…and there's swelling on his spine. We've made him comfortable and he's been given the best medication to make the pain minimal…but he's…he's not going to make it."

Yusuke felt the floor ripped from underneath him, and his heart fell into a dark bottomless pit within his body.

_  
If there's no one beside you  
When you're soul embarks  
Then I'll follow you into the dark_

"He's awake…and seems aware…he wants you with him," the doctor said gently.

Yusuke nodded and turned away from the doctor and strode in the room. Kuwabara had tubes, wires, and bandages all over him. Only his face seemed clean of any medical instrument. "Kuwabara…" Yusuke whispered before going to his side and taking Kuwabara's hand.

Kuwabara's eyes fluttered open and he weakly squeezed Yusuke's hands. He opened his mouth speaking, his voice sounding not like his own, "It's not fair…"

Yusuke felt tears drip down his cheeks, "No…no it's not fair."

"Don't…call…Hiei or Kurama…I don't want them to…s-see me like this…I'd…rather not die…hearing how weak…and path-pathetic I am from Hiei."

Yusuke squeezed Kuwabara's hand, "Do you really think that Hiei would make fun of you?"

Kuwabara grinned, "No…but if I saw him cry…I think I'd cry too."

Yusuke squeezed Kuwabara's hand harder, not having the heart to tell him that he was already crying.

_You and Me  
Have seen everything to see_

_From Bang-cock to Calgary_

"I'm sorry…" Kuwabara half sobbed, "I…wanted to stay with you…until I was old…wrinkly…and ugly…" He laughed a little and Yusuke kissed him to quiet him.

"Shhh…Shh…we're going to be together…we've always been together…thick and thin…that's not going to change now…I'm coming with you…" Yusuke whispered placing feather light kisses on Kuwabara's face.

"No…" Kuwabara whispered his heart monitor picking up.

Yusuke placed both his hands on Kuwabara's face, "I love you…I love you…calm down…Kuwabara calm down. You'll only die…"

Yusuke couldn't say the rest.

Kuwabara sniffed a bit and whispered, "Ass…hole…"

Yusuke kind of chuckled wiping his eyes clean and smiled, "I…I had something arranged with Koenma…"

"I knew it…you never…said it but I knew it right in my bones…I knew it…" Kuwabara whispered gasping harshly, "I knew…that you'd be an idiot…and try and follow me."

"Listen Kuwabara…do you really think I can live without you? There's no going back…I want my life to be with yours," Yusuke told him gently.

Kuwabara sniffed, "Stubborn…You're so stubborn."

_  
And the soles of your shoes  
Are all worn down_

Yusuke held onto Kuwabara's hand for the next hour. Nurses and doctors came in to make sure Kuwabara was comfortable, and not suffering anymore then he had to. No words were said to Yusuke, and if anyone looked ready to speak to him, he shot him a glare.

There were whispers about asking Yusuke to call his friends or family, and how he shouldn't be alone through this…but Yusuke ignored them he didn't want to listen to them either. He sat alone in the room waiting for Kuwabara to die…waiting for his lover to leave him.

And just as they entered into the second hour of the time at the hospital, Yusuke's lover of 25 years, and best friend of 28 years breathed his last breath.

_  
The time for sleep is now_

They tried to remove Yusuke from the room, but he refused to budge. He quietly cried holding his lover's hand. Eventually his tears stopped and he tried to settle his mind on other things…like when his and Koenma's deal was going to be fulfilled.

When was he going to die?

"Take me now…you said I would die…take me now…" Yusuke whispered to himself sweeping his hands over Kuwabara's curls. "I can't…I don't want to be without you Kazuma…"

And so he waited, and waited…he stalked around the room and pulled at his hair.

"Dammit…Kuwabara!…I want to be with Kuwabara! KOENMA! DAMMIT! WILL YOU JUST…DAMMIT."

There was a hurried knocking on the door and alarmed voices of the nursing staff. Yusuke strode over and locked the door and turned around to look at his dead lover. But Kuwabara was not alone. Standing at his bedside was Koenma and Boeton. They looked at Yusuke and Boeton asked, "A…are you ready?"

_  
There's nothing to cry about  
Cause we'll hold each other soon  
In the blackest of rooms_

Yusuke was frozen…caught in absolute delight that Koenma was keeping his word.

_If heaven and hell decide_

Yusuke cleared his throat and straightened up and shook his head, "Not yet."

_  
That they both are satisfied_

He strode over to Kuwabara's bed side and gently pet his lover's face before pulling the cover's back.

_  
Illuminate the nose_

Moving Kuwabara's dead form so that he could lie with him, Yusuke curled up and cradled Kuwabara too him.

_  
On their vacancy signs_

Yusuke kissed Kuwabara's brow and looked at Koenma and Boeton who stared at him tearfully.

_  
If there's no one beside you_

"Now I'm ready," Yusuke whispered looking at his friends.

_  
When you're soul embarks_

Koenma and Boeton laid their hands on Yusuke, one on his brow, and one on his chest.

_  
Then I'll follow you into the dark_

And before Yusuke could think a thought of loneliness, he died and went to follow Kuwabara in wherever had been spirited away too.

**END**


End file.
